Destiny's Choice
by nantasyland
Summary: Story set immediately after Episode 3 in Season 1. Arthur is sent on a diplomatic mission to the Western Isles, a kingdom that welcomes the practice of magic. Merlin faces a decision that could change his destiny forever.
1. Chapter 1

Destiny's Choice

Synopsis:

Story set immediately after Episode 3 in Season 1. Arthur is sent on a diplomatic mission to the Western Isles, a kingdom that welcomes the practice of magic. Merlin faces a decision that could change his destiny forever.

Chapter 1

King Uther sweeps into the council chambers, his retinue trailing behind. His son, Prince Arthur, stands near the throne on the dais at the front of the room, with the prince's servant Merlin waiting near a pillar off to the side in the shadows. A messenger has just arrived from Western Isles, and walks in to stand in the center of the room, awaiting Uther's attention.

"Your majesty," the messenger says, "the king of Western Isles is dead; with this missive I bear greetings from the newly anointed King, his son Claudius." He presents a scroll to the King with a bow and a flourish. Uther opens the scroll and reads it before handing it over to Geoffrey of Monmouth, the court historian. The council members all lean forward attentively, eager to hear the contents of the scroll.

"King Claudius has invited Camelot to send an envoy to Western Isles to reopen diplomatic relations," Uther announces. As welcome as this news might be, the councilors were well aware that Camelot has long refused to establish diplomatic relations with the Kingdom of Western Isles, primarily because Western Isles permitted the practice of magic. Uther's views on magic and its evils were well known – the practice of magic, indeed any hint of magic, was punishable by death. Everyone in the room had witnessed executions of sorcerers during and since Uther's great purge twenty years earlier.

Prince Arthur's servant Merlin, a relative newcomer to Camelot, witnessed an execution of a man who practiced magic on the day he arrived in Camelot just a few months ago. Yet Merlin himself was born with magic. All his life, he has kept his own magic a secret, never more so than since he came to Camelot. He knew with a certainty that chilled him that he would be executed should Uther ever learn of his magical abilities. No one in Camelot, apart from Gaius the court physician and his guardian, knows his secret – especially not Arthur, the prince he served.

Uther says, "The Western Isles have enjoyed many years of peace and prosperity. Perhaps it is time that Camelot opened trade relations with the new King, despite his views on magic. We may benefit from such relations." Turning to the Prince, he continues, "Arthur, you go to the Western Isles to meet with Claudius. See what advantage there may be for us. Go alone, to show our confidence in his welcome for our envoy."

Arthur bows his head, "Yes, father. I will prepare to leave immediately."

Later, walking from the council chambers, Merlin is talking excitedly to Arthur, "Your father is really showing his confidence in you, Arthur. You can change the path that Camelot is on and expand its network of allies. You're not nervous, are you? I know you'll succeed."

"Shut up, Merlin." Arthur snaps, "you really do talk nonsense sometimes." Arthur is not so confident of his abilities as a diplomat. He's a soldier; he knows the strategy and tactics of battle, and knows he is good with a sword. But He's not sure that he's ready for the responsibility of diplomacy. Merlin's certainty in his ability and ultimate success mystifies him.

Suddenly, Merlin asks with trepidation in his voice, "Okay. Wait. Western Isles. Oh no. We're going to have to go by ship, aren't we?"

"Yes, Merlin," Arthur says dryly. "That's usually how one crosses a sea to get to an island." Merlin is not convinced he is going to like sea voyages. The one time he traveled on a boat he spent the entire trip hanging over the side, very seasick.

It takes Arthur and Merlin three days of travel to reach the seaport where they arrange passage to the Western Isles on a merchant ship. Merlin is seasick the whole voyage, preferring to remain in their cabin below deck, moaning and miserable. Arthur is exhilarated by the speed the ship makes as it sails across the sea, spending all of his time on the foredeck looking at the horizon.

Their ship arrives at main seaport in the Western Isles. As they disembark, Merlin staggers around, not quite convinced that the rocking has ceased. "We're here. On land. Finally. Why is everything still rocking?"

"Don't be such a baby, Merlin," Arthur grins. "We're not there yet, though," he adds, glancing up at the King's Keep of Western Isles situated on the cliffs high above the port. "We've got a ways to go yet."

Arthur is presented at court, with Merlin standing quietly behind him, head bent as a sign of respect befitting his position as Arthur's servant. King Claudius welcomes Arthur warmly. Merlin learned that the kingdom allowed magic when Uther spoke of it, but is startled when the court sorceress, Niniane, is introduced. Merlin looks up sharply to see the sorceress and sees a beautiful woman of perhaps forty years standing tall and confident near the king. Niniane looks at him speculatively at his sudden interest in the proceedings. The court moves out of the throne room to a banquet hall for dinner. Merlin obtains a flagon of wine from another servant, and stands behind Arthur, ready to serve. He watches Niniane as she converses easily with King Claudius and Arthur. His heart soars to see a sorcerer respected as an advisor to the king, and he longs for the day that he would be so recognized and appreciated by Arthur.

Arthur and Merlin are escorted to the chambers that have been assigned to Arthur. Merlin is told he can find a place to sleep in the servants' quarters or stables by the servant who escorts them. When their bags arrive, Merlin bustles about, putting Arthur's belongings away. "When do you start negotiations?" Merlin asks, expecting Arthur to name a time for the next morning.

Instead, Arthur answers, "I think they've already begun."

"What do you mean?"

"I think that King Claudius was taking my measure during our conversation at the feast," Arthur says.

"So, how'd you do?"

Ignoring Merlin's question, Arthur says, "You can go, Merlin. Find yourself some food and a bed for the night, after you've cleaned my armor." He adds, "attend me in the morning at dawn."

During Arthur's negotiations on the first day, Merlin is left on his own. He decides to explore the town. He has never felt such a sense of freedom or exhilaration before; his magic practically vibrates within him. He smiles happily as he takes in the sights and sounds.

As he is walking on the street enjoying the sights having a snack, a passing laborer carrying a hod filled with bricks stumbles and trips, upending the carrier. The bricks start to tumble out, directly into the path of a small boy who is playing nearby. As his eyes glow gold, Merlin's magic stops the fall of the bricks. He shouts to the boy, and pulls him to safety. He then slowly lowers the bricks into a neat stack with the power of his magic. Even though the danger has passed, the boy is alarmed and starts to cry. His mother runs out from a nearby shop, "What happened?"

Merlin looks around for a quick escape, ready to deny everything. "Erm. . . . uh . . that had nothing . . ." he starts. The laborer interrupts and tells her that Merlin had saved the boy using his magic to halt the falling bricks. The laborer is clearly relieved that the boy is all right, and thanks Merlin for his quick action.

The mother turns to Merlin and thanks him and encourages the little boy to do the same, "say thank you to the magician, Timothy. He saved your life." Timothy does so and scampers away. She says to Merlin, "how lucky you are to be magical!"

Merlin continues to explore the town inordinately pleased with himself; his happy smile turns into a joyful grin. Coming through a narrow street, he reaches an open square, filled with townspeople relaxing on the grass, enjoying the sunshine. Across the lawn, he sees an imposing building, with several steps leading up to a portico with columns. He walks across the square toward it and realizes that it is a library. Unlike Camelot, where the library is overseen - guarded – by Geoffrey of Monmouth, and whose use is strictly limited, this library appears to be open to the public, for all to use. He stands in awe after he enters the main chamber, looking around at the reading tables in the center of the room filled with sunlight from the dome overhead. Several tables are occupied by townspeople engrossed in private study. Off in the far corner, he sees a small group of children enthralled as a woman tells a story, her hands graceful in the air as she gesticulates. He turns to his right to explore the nearest group of shelves, and is filled with joy to see the books of magic that are freely available. As he removes a book from the shelf, he is startled when addressed by a bearded old man, so engrossed was he in his exploration. "May I be of assistance?"

"Erm, I'm sorry . . I didn't mean . . " Merlin stammers, quickly replacing the book.

"I am Galapas," the older man says to Merlin, reaching out to shake his hand. "You are welcome here."

Relieved, Merlin answers, taking the proffered hand to shake, "I'm Merlin. I'm here with Prince Arthur of Camelot to meet with the king."

"I see. Does he know?"

"Erm . . . .what?"

"Prince Arthur. Does he know you're magical?"

"No. He can't. Magic is against the law in Camelot."

"Your magic is safe here," Galapas assures him.

Overwhelmed, Merlin gushes, "thank you, thank you! Would it be okay for me to sit and read?"

"What are you interested in?" Galapas inquires.

"Everything." Merlin admits, grinning with the sheer joy of the feast of knowledge available to him.

Merlin reluctantly returns to the castle to attend to Arthur, to find Niniane in Arthur's rooms. "You're magical," she says. Merlin looks around startled. "Don't worry, he's not here. He doesn't know, does he?"

"No! and he can never find out," Merlin blurts out, "the King would have me executed."

"Why do you stay there, then?" she asks.

"It's my job."

Arthur walks in, and laughs, "Job? You have job? You're saying that you actually do something useful?" Merlin glares at him.

"Prince Arthur," Niniane says smoothly. "I came to invite you to dine tonight with the king and me, privately in his chambers. You can bring your servant to serve you personally, if you wish."

At the dinner, Merlin as usual stands behind Arthur, ready to pour him wine. He listens and watches as the King and Prince chat about their negotiations. He knows now from Arthur's comment the other night that despite the casual social setting, these conversations are an important part of Arthur's overall diplomatic mission. Merlin listens and tries to understand the issues that are being discussed. From what he observes, Arthur appears to be more confident and cheerful than he had been when they arrived.

Preparing Arthur for bed later that night, he asks him about it. "The talks are going well, then, aren't they?"

"What would you know about it, Merlin?" Arthur asks, surprised at Merlin's observation.

"Well, King Claudius was very cordial and relaxed – more so than at the other dinner. Do you think he'll agree to the trade deal?"

"I think we need to offer something else to sweeten the deal."

'What about training for his knights? He really seemed interested, with all the questions that he asked and the way he leaned forward to listen to you talk about what you do in Camelot."

"Yeah. So?" Arthur challenges.

"I think it means that it's something he'd be interested in for his knights – you know, the regimen you follow for training. I'm just saying you could try offering it."

"You can go, Merlin," Arthur says. "Attend me in the morning."

Early the next morning, Merlin slips into Arthur's room balancing a tray with some food he had obtained in the palace kitchens. He crosses the room to the window to open the draperies. The sudden bright light wakes Arthur who grumbles, "don't you knock here either?"

After helping Arthur bathe and dress, Merlin is again free for the day. In the pattern that will repeat itself over the next few days, he heads immediately back to the library. He spends a few hours reading quietly, then joins Galapas for some food and conversation. Merlin tells Galapas about Gaius and what he is learning. He recognizes that there is so much more that he could learn here, and hopes that Arthur's stay could be prolonged as long as possible. Never before has he felt such lightness – the freedom from worry of being discovered – in his heart.

One day at their lunch, he and Galapas are discussing medical methods. "Gaius is a skilled physician," Merlin says. "But his research to find a cure for a particular ailment is methodical and slow. I know that there must be ways to enhance healing and cure people with magic. He won't let me try."

"You can understand his caution, can't you?" asks Galapas. "It's too dangerous in Camelot."

"I only want to help!" Merlin exclaims in frustration. "No one need know if I'm careful." He pauses a moment, and then says wistfully, "there is so much I need to learn."

Galapas gives him a spell book for healing. "Study this," he says, "the spells within have great power, but always think before you act, Merlin. The easy answer is not always the best."

Merlin snorts, "you sound like Gaius. But thank you. I am truly grateful for your gift." Merlin reads secretly at night in Arthur's rooms, when Arthur is out, hiding the book carefully wrapped in a gold colored tunic in the cupboard.

A few days after their late night conversation, Arthur broaches Merlin's idea about training at a meeting with the king, and it works. Arthur suggests that if the knights of the Western Isles had proper training, then Knight Valiant wouldn't have had to use a magic shield and could have competed in the tournament and won fairly. Arthur offers to send a few of his knights to live in the Western Isles and train the kingdom's knights. King Claudius is delighted with the offer. The negotiations proceed amicably to the satisfaction of both.


	2. Chapter 2

Destiny's Choice

Synopsis:

Story set immediately after Episode 3 in Season 1. Arthur is sent on a diplomatic mission to the Western Isles, a kingdom that welcomes the practice of magic. Merlin faces a decision that could change his destiny forever.

Chapter 2

Niniane has invited Merlin to her chambers to talk. They are seated across from each other in chairs situated in front of the fireplace, a white cat curled on the rug between them. Merlin stares into the flames for a moment, and finally asks her about the freedom of magic. "How does it work exactly?"

"What?"

"This magic thing. Where magical people are accepted? Do they keep track of you? How do they control it?" Merlin is truly curious. Having grown up in a non-magical world where magic was seen as a threat, and living in Camelot where it is punishable by death, he wonders how magical and non-magical people act to protect themselves from each other – and live peaceably together.

"We control ourselves, Merlin. We learn how to use magic for good, to help the kingdom and all its citizens. Yes, there are some who try to use it for their own benefit, but they are caught and punished for the misuse of their magic." Niniane understands his fear, knowing where he comes from and how he's had to keep his magic secret.

Niniane rises to stand before the fireplace, and gestures to Merlin to do so as well, facing her. "Hold out your hands," she says. She takes his hands in hers turning his palms up as she places hers on top, barely touching. The white cat stands and stretches, and moves slowly to twine his body around Merlin's legs. Niniane sends out tiny tendrils of magic through her hands; they reach into the core of Merlin's being. She senses his goodness and his joy, but also the strength of his resolve and loyalty. But all her thoughts of what she sees inhim are blown away as Merlin lessens his control over his own magic and it rushes out to meet hers. Stunned by its force, she releases his hands to break the connection, and staggers back a step. He reaches out to steady her. The cat ceases his twining to stand still, leaning in, touching Merlin, gazing up at him, purring like mad. Niniane smiles at Merlin.

"I have a gift for you." She walks a few steps to the table nearby to retrieve an object lying there. She steps back to the fireplace, and hands Merlin what she had picked up from the table: a wand. As it passes between them, both feel again the strong surge of magical connection. She senses that his magic is raw, untrained, but so very powerful. "_What he could accomplish if he has the training_," she thinks. "_And he doesn't even know his own power._"

She looks at him and smiles again. She drops her hand, and Merlin holds the wand alone. He feels its power as it reads his thoughts and creates a dragon image out of the sparks in the fireplace. It tingles in his hand, and he drops it. "I've never felt anything like that before," he marvels aloud, grinning happily. He bends down to retrieve it from the floor, this time the sensation of magical power is expected.

"You don't really need a wand, I can see that. But a wand channels your power to augment it and focus it where it's needed." She pauses a moment, and continues, "but you must be careful with it, Merlin. The wand itself has great power. With the right spell – the right curse – it is a devastating weapon, capable of a truly fatal force."

"I can't take it," he stammers as he tries to hand it back to her. When she doesn't take it, he places the wand gently on the table. "I don't want such power."

"Please, you must take it," she says. "You will learn to control its power."

Merlin is overwhelmed by her gift. He has never felt so welcome and happy as here, and wonders to himself what it would be like to live here, without fear of execution for his magic.

The next morning after tending to Arthur at dawn, Merlin pockets the wand and leaves the castle. He goes out to the woods to experiment, making small magical events. He is amazed at the power that he senses in it, his magic is thrumming through his body. He walks into a field that has numerous large rectangular stones, each taller than he is, strewn about. He takes the wand from his pocket, and points it at the nearest stone, pushing out his magic to test it. The stone slowly moves upward to stand tall, as if it knew what Merlin wanted it to do. One by one, he raises each stone that was scattered around the field. As each is set upright he sees that it is forming a perfect circle. He raises other stones that were lying further out to rest on top of the each pair of standing stones. In the center of the circle is the largest stone, forming some kind of an altar. He moves it, so that it is aligned with the opening between the two largest stones facing east. "_Yes_," he thinks, "_that's where it belongs_. _It will welcome the dawn on the longest day._" He is awed by the power that he feels has been harnessed by the wand, not understanding how he did it. But his magic is jubilant within him.

That night in Arthur's rooms, Merlin is standing near the table, Niniane's cat perched on the chair next to him watching intently while Merlin, smiling giddily, levitates a goblet with the wand, when Arthur enters unexpectedly.

"What are you up to, Merlin?" he asks. Merlin drops the wand and the goblet falls to the table, while the wand rolls on the floor toward the hearth and the cat jumps from the chair. "Drinking again?"

"Erm . . , no. Thought I'd learn how to juggle," Merlin jokes.

"Well, try learning how to catch first," Arthur laughs. "Can you do it with more than one object?"

"Working on it."

Arthur looks around and asks, "whose cat it that?" The cat scampers away.

Later, as Merlin moves about the room, tidying it before Arthur retires for the night, Arthur is leaning on the fireplace, deep in thought, and spies the wand that Merlin had dropped earlier. He picks it up, and is about to toss it into the fire. Merlin dashes over to stop him. "No, don't do that!"

"Why not? It's just a stick of wood."

"Uh, no. It's a, . .erm , .my knitting needle?"

"Your what?" Arthur asks, disbelieving. He stares at his servant.

"Um. I'm learning how to knit. You never know when you'll need a new pair of socks," Merlin explains.

"Knitting?" Arthur is incredulous, laughing. "And juggling? Merlin, I had no idea you had so many talents."

"Well, I do. You just fail to notice them is all."

Arthur and King Claudius have concluded their negotiations to the satisfaction of both. "We'll draw up the agreement to carry back to Camelot. This treaty will serve us both well," Claudius says.

Arthur is pleased, and answers, "Thank you, your majesty. We will go forward in peace, as allies."

King Claudius adds, as if having an afterthought, "Niniane tells me that your serving boy appears to have an aptitude for the healing arts and is eager to learn."

"Well, that's probably only because he's picked up a few bits of information from his guardian, Camelot's court physician," Arthur replies. "Otherwise, he's a complete idiot."

"He does like to read. Apparently, he's discovered our library and has spent quite a bit of time there reading and speaking with Galapas, the court librarian."

"Really?" Arthur says incredulously. "I wasn't even sure he could read."

"Would you be willing to let him stay here to study healing arts at our school? Galapas says that he has a brilliant mind and thinks he could become a great physician."

"_Merlin_?" Arthur is nonplussed at this, and stammers, "if that's what he wants to do, then he is free to stay here. You'll have to ask him." Arthur is uncertain what Merlin's reaction would be. He's hardly seen him during the negotiations with King Claudius, not realizing what Merlin had been doing. Arthur is uncomfortable with the idea that Merlin might want to stay the Western Isles; Merlin belongs in Camelot, with him.

"Thank you, Prince Arthur. If he stays, Merlin would find a home here amongst us."

"This isn't a condition of our treaty, is it?" Arthur asks with trepidation.

"Not at all," Claudius says. "But we would welcome him here."

Niniane summons Merlin to her chambers to speak to him. "Galapas has told me of your interest in our library. You do a lot of reading. He marvels at your curiosity and eagerness to learn." She gestures to him to have a seat. The cat jumps into his lap as soon as he settles himself. Merlin strokes the purring cat gently.

Merlin answers carefully, "there is so much I don't know."

She tells him of King Claudius's offer of the opportunity to stay in the Western Isles for a full education in magic and medicine, although she doesn't mention that Arthur had been consulted about it first. "You have great power, Merlin. Stay here with us, and you will learn everything you need to know. You will be able to live in freedom, respected as a magician."

"I've appreciated the time Galapas has spent with me and the freedom he allowed me to explore the library, but I can't afford this education," Merlin says. "I have nothing."

She reassures him that he would not need to pay anything now, but later, in repayment, after his education is complete, he would work at the court with their physician until he earns enough to repay the kingdom for his education. He would then be free to return to Camelot if he wanted to, when his debt was repaid.

Merlin is overwhelmed by the generosity of the offer, and his heart leaps with joy at the possibility of freedom to practice and learn all he can about magic and healing. He sits back, absently stroking the purring cat, grinning at Niniane. "What can I say?" he asks.

"Say yes," she answers, smiling back at him.


	3. Chapter 3

Destiny's Choice

Chapter 3

Merlin leaves Ninane's chambers and climbs the stairs to the eastern tower overlooking the sea separating the Island from Camelot. He paces the walkway behind the battlements thinking hard. He is torn, and doesn't know what to do. He thinks about what the dragon had said about his 'destiny,' but isn't sure that Arthur is all that eager to accept him or his help. He feels he hadn't been needed on this trip, as Arthur has been negotiating with King Claudius by himself, leaving Merlin on his own. He questions his own ability to help Arthur, or even make Arthur listen to him. "_I just want Arthur to trust me,_" he thinks. Arthur's pretty much ignored him this whole trip, never mind trusted him on anything. Although Arthur hadn't said anything, Merlin feels that he was a bit wary in the presence of the sorceress Niniane, not especially comfortable with her magic. So, he despairs that Arthur will never accept his magic, or see him for who he really is.

He stops and stands at the crenellation facing east, looking back to Camelot, leaning on the stone. Why should he care whether or not Arthur is this great king who will unite the land of Albion. "_What does that even mean? What's Albion to me?"_ he wonders. Magic is outlawed in Camelot, and if this mythical Albion is rooted in Camelot's values, what chance is there that magic would be accepted in Albion? What would he gain for his efforts to help Arthur succeed? Arthur doesn't need him; he's succeeded here on his own, without his help. And why should the dragon care? What does he even know about anything anyway? He's chained in the dark in a cave. "_Why should I even listen to the stupid dragon?_" Merlin asks himself. "_Just because he can talk doesn't mean he knows what he's talking about._"

If he does stay here, he will have found a purpose for his gifts, not this 'destiny' nonsense to create this great kingdom –one that would have him executed for those gifts. He could have a life, as a physician and a magician. He could help many, not just the one – and that 'one' doesn't even seem to need him or want his help. And is an irritating prat on top of everything. How much simpler life would be if he didn't have to fear exposure and execution. He has found happiness here and experienced joy in the freedom to release his magic; it has been so difficult keeping his magic hidden in Camelot. "_I didn't choose the dragon's destiny. I still have a choice._"

He wants to tell Niniane that he accepts the king's offer, and decides he needs to tell Arthur first. When he gets to Arthur's rooms, he is prepared to say goodbye, rehearsing his words in his mind. He knocks on the door, and enters Arthur's room.

"Arthur, . . ." he starts quietly as he rounds the door.

Arthur shouts at him, "Where've you been? Why aren't you here when I need you?" Arthur is angry and Merlin cannot fathom why. He gives Merlin a list of chores to do, "We sail tomorrow with the morning tide."

Merlin stammers, "tomorrow? So soon?"

"Yes, _Mer_lin, we need to get back to Camelot to bring the agreement to my father. We have completed our mission here. Why do you care?"

"Erm . . ., I don't. It's just that there's a lot you want done before then," Merlin protests.

"Well, you'd better get busy, then. You wouldn't have so much to do now if you hadn't been wandering off on your own while we were here. You really are the worst servant ever."

Arthur storms from the room before Merlin has a chance to say anything about staying. Merlin doesn't know that Arthur is aware of the offer the kingdom has extended to Merlin. "_Now what?_" Merlin thinks, annoyed with Arthur. He sets about getting Arthur's belongings in order and packed up for the journey home. He will just have to find another opportunity to talk to Arthur, when he's calmed down from whatever is bothering him.

Merlin gathers up Arthur's dirty clothes and heads out to the palace laundry to wash them to be packed for the journey home to Camelot. After hanging the clothing to dry in the small courtyard outside the laundry, he goes to the armory to collect Arthur's swords, chainmail and armor that had been stored there. He checks over the armor, and sets to polishing. That done, he picks it all up and carries the load back to Arthur's rooms. He finds the rooms empty and silent. Arthur had already gone to supper with King Claudius. Merlin dashes over to the banquet room, grabbing a flagon of wine on his way through the kitchens, and takes his place behind Arthur's chair ready to serve.

After the meal, Arthur and the king start to walk together to King Claudius's council room for the ceremony to sign the trade agreement. As Arthur passes him, Merlin reaches out his hand to touch Arthur on his elbow, hoping to catch his attention. Arthur shrugs it off, and says, "finish your chores, Merlin. You don't need to attend me at the ceremony."

Merlin says softly so no one else will hear, "Arthur, I need to talk to you."

"I don't have time for this now, Merlin." Arthur turns away to smile at King Claudius who is waiting for him to leave the hall.

Merlin presses his lips together in frustration. "_Why won't he listen to me?" _ he fumes.

Late that night, after Merlin completed his chores and managed a quick supper in the kitchens, he returns to Arthur's chambers with the folded clothing to be packed for the journey to Camelot. The room is dark and silent, except for Arthur's light snore as he sleeps. Merlin sighs and heads back to the servants' quarters to find a bed for the night.

The next morning, Arthur is annoyed that Merlin hadn't come to wake him and help him dress. Arthur sees that his clothes for the day are laid out for him on the chair, and his packed bags are set near the door. "_When did he do that?"_ he wonders as he gets dressed. Arthur paces the room, waiting impatiently, ready to leave, but Merlin still hasn't appeared.

When a servant comes to carry his bags away, Arthur asks, "have you seen my servant Merlin?"

"Who, my lord?"

"The gangly boy with black hair," Arthur clarifies.

"Oh, yeah," the servant says. "He was summoned to see Niniane."

"Go find him. Tell that lazy useless servant of mine to meet me at the ship." Arthur fears that Merlin has decided to stay and is angry that he hasn't said anything. He feels lost and alone, though he'd never admit it.

He leaves his guest quarters and goes to make his farewells to King Claudius. Arthur is pleased with the outcome of the negotiations and proud of his success at diplomacy, but this feeling is tempered at his inexplicable sadness that Merlin might not be coming back to Camelot with him. He walks slowly down the hill to the docks to find the ship that had been booked for the journey home. Every so often, he pauses and looks back to see if he can spot Merlin trying to catch up with him. But there's no sign of him.


	4. Chapter 4

Destiny's Choice

Chapter 4

Niniane and Merlin are talking in her solar, surrounded by her books. "You are a magical being with great power, Merlin - my Little Bird," she tells him, "but you need to learn to control it and summon it at will. If it is too wild, it can cause harm to yourself and others. The education we can give you will help you master it and realize your true potential."

He confesses that he hasn't told Arthur yet, "I still need to say goodbye."

She says, "in a moment. Let me show you what your life will be like in a place where magic is accepted." She leads him over to the window, where a shallow basin rests on a small pedestal. "Place your hands on either side of the rim, and let your thumbs touch the liquid inside. Look here to see your future, Merlin."

Merlin does as she says. The liquid is cool to his touch, and swirls around in the basin. When it settles and stills, Merlin looks in the basin and is entranced to see himself at the library reading and practicing magic; then he sees himself with a fellow student, a young woman with light brown hair and laughing eyes. He sees their wedding. His breath catches in his throat as he envisions holding his newborn son in his arms as his wife smiles from childbed. He can almost feel the solid weight of the infant in his arms, joy and awe and love reaching out to the child. He lets out an involuntary huff of laughter when next he sees his children at play. He sees himself as a physician, middle aged with long dark hair and graying beard teaching others and healing with magic. He sees himself and his wife surrounded by their children and grandchildren. He sees himself in old age, with long white hair and beard, wearing a red robe and holding a tall staff up to command the sky. The joy he experiences in experiencing these visions is palpable. His magic practically vibrates within him with longing.

"Wait. No," he lifts his hands and tears himself away from the visions, feeling a wrenching loss at their sudden absence. "Arthur. I have to go tell Arthur."

Niniane looks at him with dismay as he dashes from the room. "_My Little Bird is going to fly away_," she fears.

Unaware how much time has passed, Merlin rushes back to Arthur's rooms to find them empty and still. Arthur has gone. He is devastated that he hadn't said goodbye to Arthur, and realizes all at once that he can't. "_I have to go back. For Arthur_," he thinks.

He takes the book of healing spells and the wand from their hiding places, and sets them on the table with a note for Niniane: "I'm sorry." Not even trying to hold back his tears, he leaves the rooms at a run and heads out of the castle, down the hill to the docks.

Arthur is nervously pacing the deck of the ship, looking out for Merlin. The ship's captain tells him that they cannot wait any longer if they are to catch the tide. Finally he sees Merlin's figure in the distance running toward the ship. Arthur grins involuntarily and tells the captain to hold up a moment until Merlin gets there. But the captain has already ordered the gangplank to be lifted and the crew ready to set sail.

Merlin sees the ship start to slowly pull away. "_I'm too late_," he thinks, "_but I can't be!" _He realizes that he will have to jump – otherwise he'll not make it aboard. He takes a deep breath_. "Okay, here goes. . ._ " His decision made, his eyes flash gold as he races up to the edge of the dock and jumps across the water to the moving ship, head down to hide the magic he summons to help him breech the distance.

He almost makes it, splashing into the water just short of the side, going down under the wake. He resurfaces choking and gasping for air, flailing his arms in a desperate attempt to stay afloat. "Arthur!" he yells as he submerges again, swallowing water, weighed down by his boots and clothing. Arthur shouts, and a sailor runs over with a line to toss at Merlin, who is floundering. He can't swim, but his magic takes over and keeps him afloat. He manages to grab hold of the line; Arthur and the sailor pull him toward the boat and help him clamber aboard, gasping and coughing, kneeling as he vomits up seawater.

Arthur cuffs him on his wet head and chides him: "You crazy fool! You almost missed the boat! Where've you been?"

"It doesn't matter now," Merlin gasps out, his soaked clothing dripping on the polished deck where he sits, catching his breath.

On the return voyage, Merlin very seasick again; Arthur makes fun of him. Again. Arthur spends most of the time during the voyage out on the deck, while Merlin is lying half asleep, moaning in misery on his bunk below decks as he retches into a nearby bucket. "_There's nothing left to come up_," he thinks, as he dozes off.

There is a storm the second night of their voyage. It comes up suddenly, with the seas roughening as the rain starts to fall in sheets. The little ship rides the swells as the crew frantically attempts to keep it afloat. Arthur is standing forward, in the prow of the ship, holding on to the rope along the railing. He is exhilarated by the storm - the rain and the lightning - and is confident in the ability of the captain and crew to keep the ship safe. The ships and sailors of the Western Isles are reputed to be the best in the known world.

Suddenly, a wave hits the rocking vessel broadside, and Arthur loses his grip on the rope. He is thrown back to the deck, hitting his head on the anchor chain secured on deck and screams aloud in surprise and pain as he loses consciousness.

Merlin wakes with a jerk, hearing Arthur's sudden scream. Merlin comes racing out of the cabin, eyes golden, and up the ladder, releasing his magic. Time . . slows . . down. . . to give him the time to stop Arthur from plummeting into the sea with the next wave. Merlin grabs him, as another wave slowly hits and washes over the deck. He ties the two of them together with a rope, using his magic to lash them to the forward mast to ride out the storm. Merlin relaxes his control and time returns to normal. The rain slashes down, washing away the blood from Arthur's head where it was cut when he fell. Merlin is still seasick, fighting the waves of nausea, but holds onto the unconscious Arthur. Eventually, Merlin succumbs to exhaustion, and sleeps himself, still holding his prince.

The next morning, the weather is beautiful and the water is calm. Arthur wakes up astounded to see himself tied up with Merlin against the mast. "Merlin, what are you doing?" he yells. Arthur unties the ropes and jumps to his feet looking down at Merlin.

"I had to, Sire, we were almost washed away," Merlin protests.

"Don't be ridiculous, Merlin."

One of the sailors speaks up and says, "you should be grateful that his m. . . ." Behind Arthur's back, Merlin shakes his head at him frantically; the sailor shrugs and finishes his sentence. . ."em, mighty quick thinking saved your life."

"Right, as if Merlin were capable of thinking at all, let alone quickly," Arthur snorts.

Merlin leans his head back on the mast as relief floods him, thinking "_safe, still safe_." Then he glares at Arthur.

Arthur and Merlin return to Camelot, where Arthur reports back to his father on the success of his mission. His father is pleased with his diplomatic skills, and ability to "read" other people in negotiation. He approves of the idea of offering training and tells Arthur to select the knights to be sent to the other kingdom. Arthur glances at Merlin who is standing next to a pillar off to the side of the council room. He nods slightly, and Merlin smiles at him.

Arthur tells his father that magic is allowed in the other country, and that the people there are prosperous and happy. "Magic is not solely evil, Father. In the Western Isles, magic is used to help people in their daily lives. It's a force for good." Arthur concludes his report, "can we not consider this?"

Standing in the shadows near a pillar, Merlin beams, barely able to contain his joy at hearing Arthur's words to his father.

But Uther says, "Never."

As the years passed, the two young men never spoke of Merlin's decision to return to Camelot; but Merlin never regretted his choice, and Arthur never forgot.

END


End file.
